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The Truth & Other Stories by Sarah Clancy

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For Lazarus, Whose Alarm Clock is Ringing

Clancy, Sarah

for Elaine Feeney

In the Airport terminalís time warp the sun-on-glass glare 
and the lack of appropriate places to sleep
have left me bug eyed and pacing static-filled corridors
that send sparks through my fingers and hair 
when I touch things (or if I touched things) and Iím thinking 
of how we came to be each othersí others and how it is 
that people like us come to mean things to each other.
Without knowing it does so, the heat from the sunís kiss on 
the plate glass window licks at my neck, like it we are helpless 
our warmth spreads without any permission, weíve no borders 
no boundaries and weíve been friends since we met 
so I can say Lazarus get up and talk to me, because I want
to tell you how Iíd resolved to be only one person 
all of the time until a woman came to my ninth floor hotel room 
and stood at the window looking down at some city below her,
I (or the me I was using) stayed at a distance with my back 
to the wall and across those great acres of room space of bed space
and sheet span I watched the light burnish her edges
her ribcage, her jaw and the fine hairs on her arm 
and as the evening grew gentler I watched the rise and fall 
of her breath while the day itself melted and Lazarus 
I wanted to go to her but this me that Iíve chosen to be 
all of the time now didnít know where or how to begin:

I (or the me I was using) didnít believe that my static filled fingers
could touch her and she might welcome it and I wanted to tell you 
that I mightn't be able to stay being me in situations like this 
where I have all the ingredients gathered and measured 
and then I forget how to cook them (if that was in fact
me there in the bedroom and not one of my minions) 
and I'm saying this because I've learned that staying one person 
isn't straightforward and sometimes being truthful is less accurate 
than having the courage to act a part beautifully
and Lazarus I want to tell you whenever you get up
that I might not be able and I know you'll know what I mean 
because we are each others others and we know things Ė
Lazarus, itís high time you were up.

Copyright © Sarah Clancy 2014

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